How to Discover Your Super Power
I’ve always felt called to help humanity reinvent broken systems. It’s like a spark that has always been there to some degree.
It first showed up when I was 13 and about to be “confirmed” in the Lutheran church. A Part of me felt that system was broken, because I didn’t resonate with the teaching that humans are worthless unless they go to church. So I refused to be confirmed.
Throughout my life the Spark would flare up at times, and I’d feel a fiery sense of injustice about something. Most recently it flared up in a way I couldn’t ignore because it was too intense.
I was working as a primary therapist in a mental health center. In my opinion, mental health is one of the many organizations that rely on Hero Work in order for the organization to survive. Hero work is where employees have to “pull an all nighter” in order to meet a deadline. The employee who does this is richly praised and seen as a valuable member of the organization—one that other employees should emulate.
In my case, the Hero work was supposed to happen every day. We were supposed to see clients back-to-back every day for 8 hours, with each session lasting an hour. Twice a week we were also supposed to do an Intake during one of those hours, but the problem was that it took at least 1.5 hours to do each intake. We were also supposed to do case management for every client, but there was no time allotted in our schedule for this to happen. There was a requirement that all paperwork on a client had to be completed within 48 hours.
I kept getting more and more behind, and I continued to tell my supervisor this. For three months, she would nod her head when I said this, but then one day she decided it was a problem. She called me into her office, and the director of the department was also there. They told me I’d have to stay after work that night until all of the paperwork was completed. I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe it.
They actually didn’t make me stay after work that night. But what they DID do was to make me “train” with a young clinician who was able to complete every intake within one hour. I felt REALLY angry about this, because I had asked nearly every other clinician how THEY were able to complete their intakes within an hour, and no one said they could do it. All of them agreed that the expectations were unrealistic, and they stayed late almost every night after work so they could meet the expectations.
On top of all of this, we had productivity expectations: we had to have a certain amount of face-to-face time with clients, and if we didn’t meet productivity, we could be “written up” and eventually fired if our performance didn’t improve. At this point, I wasn’t burned out yet, so I got creative and came up with a schedule where I would hold several groups each week so I could see more people, and still a lot 1.5 hours to do intakes.
When I presented this to the Director of the department, she just told me that my proposed schedule wasn’t acceptable because “it would have to come from us” (management team). My supervisor continued to berate me for not being able to meet the expectations. I truly believe I was a victim of workplace bullying. But it was the norm.
I’m not sure how I did it, but I ended up staying there for 3 years. After that, I found work at another mental health center, but the situation was very similar. There, I offered a few employee wellness events, but the organization made employees attend on their lunch hour. Just what everyone who is burned out wants to do, right? Give up their only free time during the day. (NOT) A few people did attend the events, and I discovered they were just as burned out as I was.
I tried to maintain a positive attitude and outlook, but too often, the Part of me that felt angry & rebellious about all of this was driving my behavior. My Angry Rebel showed up sometimes in meetings with my supervisor and even at larger gatherings. I couldn’t get promoted in the organization because I wouldn’t embrace the unhealthy norms that were part of the culture.
Then I discovered something I thought could transform the workplace culture: Internal Family Systems. When used in the workplace, IFS can help us manage the Parts of ourselves that get triggered and can’t perform as expected. I imagined how amazing it would be like to have a CEO who understood and embraced the concept.
One of the basic premises of IFS is that we can change unwanted behaviors by accessing an aspect of us called “Self.” When we have access to Self, we are calm, curious, caring, confident, clear, courageous, compassionate, creative, and we feel connected.
I imagined what it would be like if we could create a workplace culture where Self was present. One where, if someone wasn’t performing as expected, instead of being berated, both the supervisor and employee would access Self and come up with ways to transform the unwanted behavior. I submitted a request to my supervisor to attend training on this and then come back and train other employees. But he didn’t buy into it, and so my request was denied.
At that point, I decided to leave the organization. But the story does have a happy ending. Since that time, I have continued to hear people in a variety of professions complain of problems similar to what I experienced. Nurses, teachers, hospice workers, and many others who work in human services are often part of systems where the expectations placed upon them so unrealistic that they experience stress, poor work/life balance, and problems related to their physical health.
When I hear their pain, the Angry and Rebellious Part of me flares up again. But because I’ve spent time strengthening my ability to connect to Self, that Part of me has now transformed to the point that she can function like the Amazon Warrior, Wonder Woman. I call her Amarah.
I actually dressed up as Wonder Woman for Halloween when I worked at one of the mental health centers. I thought I might as well dress the part since I was doing Hero Work every day. But now I use the Wonder Woman theme song as my ringtone, as a reminder of my super power, which is my ability to help myself and others access Self.
These days, my Wonder Woman part is helping me support others who are burned out and want to transform what’s broken in their own lives and in the world. I’m offering retreats where we go out into nature to get rejuvenated. We let go of stress so we can connect with our own Intuition and with the consciousness of the Universe and the More Than Human World so we can see where the Systems are broken and find new ways of doing things. We use art to symbolize Parts that are showing up in ways that hold us back and to symbolize Self so we can have more access. We ignite our creativity so we can develop action plans to move forward and create change that lasts.
Are you ready to discover YOUR Super Power? One way to do it is to follow my example. Look at an area of your life where you’re not showing up the way you would like. Instead of trying to push that unwanted behavior down, instead, imagine that it’s no accident you were put in this position. Maybe you were meant to feel the pain of being in this situation so that you could help it transform. Journal with that Part of you to find out what it’s unhappy about. Connect with your Self and ask for assistance in helping that Part discover it’s strength so you can help the situation or the system transform.
It’s no accident that you’re in this situation. You were meant to either help the situation transform or to break free and create a different version of yourself or the situation. Either way, don’t hold back or wait for someone else to fix it. YOU are the one you’ve been waiting for!
