5 Steps to Break Through Self-Limiting Thoughts
5 Tips to Break Through Self-Limiting Thoughts
Our thoughts can be one of the most powerful stumbling blocks we encounter when we’re working to step into our Full Potential. And they can also be one of our biggest allies. With practice and mindfulness, you can learn to stop unhelpful thoughts in their tracks and replace them with thoughts that keep you moving forward!
Below is a simple formula you can follow in order to transform self-limiting thoughts:
1. Pinpoint the Trigger: Think about what things happened before you started feeling bad. Did someone criticize you? Were you thinking about an unpleasant memory from the past? Are you faced with public speaking or asking for a promotion or pay raise? Sometimes this can take some digging, because you might not even be consciously aware of what the trigger was.
2. Identify the Story: Notice what thoughts you are having. When you string them together, they become a story. See if you can identify beliefs that you have connected to your thoughts. For example, you might find yourself avoiding confrontation. Your story might say that every time you confront someone, it goes badly. There might be an underlying belief that it’s disrespectful to confront people, because when your parents fought, they were very disrespectful to each other.
3. Notice Your Response: How did you feel when you listened to the story? Did you start doing something that you don’t do when you’re feeling healthy emotionally, such as escaping into watching TV or stress eating? Or did you stop doing something you usually do, like standing up for what you need?
4. Examine the Story: So, here’s where you put on your detective hat. Analyze your story line by line. What evidence do you have that the story is true? List the times when you stood up for yourself and it went badly. What evidence do you have that it’s not true, or not completely true? When were the times when you confronted someone and it turned out pretty well. What else might the circumstances mean? What if it’s not actually true that confrontation is disrespectful? What’s the best/worst/most likely thing that could happen? Would if be horrible if you lost your job? What if you could find a job where you were valued and paid what you’re worth? What advice would you give to a dear friend who’s experiencing something similar? Would you encourage them to make a list of their successful work projects and show it to their supervisor? This might give you ideas of things you can do to help yourself realize that you truly are worthy of the promotion you desire.
5. Re-Write the Story: The final step is to re-write the story that’s been playing in your head. How would you like to feel instead of how you feel when you listen to the old story? Create an affirmation around the desired feeling. It’s OK to acknowledge your current feelings at the beginning of the affirmation, but then add some words that affirm how you want to feel. For example: “Even though I’m scared to ask for this promotion, because sometimes it hasn’t gone well when I’ve asked for things like this in the past (Old Story,) it’s worth a try to ask. I might get the promotion or a pay raise. I’ll feel better if I ask.”
If you want to stop being held back by your limiting thoughts, you’ll need to practice stopping and shifting them every day. When you do this, you’re actually creating new neural pathways in your brain, and soon you won’t spend as much time bogged down by negativity!