If you’re on a mission to create change in your life or in the world, but you’re not seeing results, it might be time to do your Inner Work.

Often when we run into roadblocks, we blame the world. You may tell yourself, “They’re not ready for what I have to offer.” Or, “I don’t have the resources I need to make this happen.”

And those thoughts may be partly true. But it’s also likely that you have some barriers within yourself that are tied to unhealed trauma.

In this blog, you’ll read the stories of 4 women (names have been changed to protect their identity) that illustrate how unhealed trauma can show up. And then you’ll learn about a coaching modality that can help you move forward if you engage in these behaviors.

Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is one common behavior that gets in the way of making change. Sandy was on a mission to change the way services are offered to children who learn differently than their peers. Having experienced similar issues growing up, she had innovative ideas about how to change the situation. Although she needed to spend time working on her dissertation so she could prove some of her theories about what needs to change, Sandy found herself procrastinating in doing her research

Snarkiness
Another behavior that can derail the change process is improperly channeled anger. Tonya was a professionally trained coach who had brilliant ideas for change, but they weren’t recognized by the management team in the organization where she worked. She had pitched an idea for a coaching program to the CEO, but it had been ignored. In a meeting with several department heads where Tonya was also present, the CEO announced his plans to implement a coaching program that would be led by someone who had no coach training. Tonya responded with snarky remarks that left everyone at the table staring at her in surprise.

Playing Small
Sometimes a hidden fear of success can sabotage your efforts to expand into your full potential. Debbie had worked hard to bring a big-name speaker to the organization where she worked. During the presentation, the speaker spontaneously gave Debbie a chance to lead a guided meditation for participants during the keynote, but Debbie turned it down. Afterwards, she chastised herself for having made that decision.

People Pleasing
People pleasing is another common behavior that can create road blocks on your journey towards creating change. Cindy was the CEO of a successful organization and she wanted to expand her business. She tried delegating tasks to her employees so that she could do things in areas where she, but not her employees, excelled. However, time after time, she found herself avoiding delegating because she felt guilty when she did so.

If you recognize yourself in any of these stories, don’t despair! Parts Work can help!

The common denominator in each of these stories in unhealed trauma. There’s a powerful modality called Parts Work or Internal Family Systems, that can help you shift these behaviors. And once you have begun to heal the trauma, you’re likely to be able to move forward on your mission for change with much more grace and ease.

Parts Work is one of the most efficient and effective models for transforming unhealed trauma. Here’s a simple explanation of how the process works.

We are all born with Parts, and new ones emerge as we encounter challenges in life that feel too big to handle.

Often these experiences are traumatic, which results in the presence of strong emotions such as rage or fear. Our psyche worries that feeling these emotions would be too much for us to handle. Usually, one of our internal Parts volunteers to protect the Part that experienced the trauma..

I like to use the metaphor of passengers on a bus to explain what happens. The Protector Part sits in the passenger section of the bus sometimes. And the Traumatized Part sits way in the back or maybe in a special place where no one can see them. But when something similar to the original traumatic event happens, the Protector Part comes forward and sits behind the wheel and “drives” the person’s thoughts and behaviors to try and prevent any more trauma from happening to the one it’s protecting.

So, if you have unhealed trauma, you may find yourself engaging in behaviors similar to the ones mentioned in the stories above. You might notice that you overreact to things. If that’s the case, Parts Work can help you learn to respond instead of reacting.

Going back to the stories I shared earlier, here’s how the process works.

Own Your Genius
When I helped Sandy explore why she was avoiding working on her dissertation, she realized she was self-sabotaging because she was buying into a limiting belief. As a result of having experienced trauma around her difficulty learning, she had been telling herself that she wasn’t “qualified” to lead her movement for change.

I helped Sandy realize that the trauma she had experienced made her an expert in understanding the needs of the children she wants to serve. Getting sucked into Imposter Syndrome is a common experience for women who are trying to create change, but it’s important to recognize and shift out of this way of thinking and behaving.

Harness Your Anger
I showed Tonya how to discover which internal Parts had been activated by the CEO’s announcement that he was choosing an untrained person to lead the coaching program. Tonya then learned how to channel the power of her anger into designing and implementing supportive experiences for her peers that didn’t require approval from the CEO. This empowered her to move forward with her goal of creating change in the organization.

Embrace your Power
I helped Debbie use Parts Work to understand what had driven her choice to avoid stepping into power when she’d been given an opportunity to lead the guided meditation. Debbie realized that in that moment, an internal Part had stepped in to try and protect her because something “bad” had happened earlier in her life when she saw her mother try to claim her power. Now, Debbie is able to recognize the “voice” of that Protector Part when it shows up, and she knows how to negotiate with it.

Claim Your Sovereignty
As Cindy explored ways to let go of people pleasing around her desire to delegate, I helped her find a way to tap into a Part of herself that was not attached to other people’s opinions around her decisions and actions. I designed experiences where Cindy could practice being sovereign. After several months, Cindy was able to open a new branch of her business, which supported her goal of expansion.

The stories of these women explain the beginning steps of healing that can happen using the Parts Work or Internal Family Systems process. And with continued work the problematic behaviors show up less frequently or disappear altogether as more internal collaboration and healing take place.

So if you’re ready to stop running into roadblocks and create the kind of change you long for, check into Parts Work. And feel free to reach out for a Complimentary Power Up Potential Call if you want support in the process.

Running Into Roadblocks? Four Signs That Unhealed Trauma May Be the Culprit and What to Do About It